The Problem with Perfection

I work in the wedding industry.
I went to Diamond School.
My friend pointed out that even though I went from makeup to jewelry, I'm still playing dress up.
It suits me.

The difference between the two is pretty monumental, however.
In cosmetics, women are shopping for themselves.
It's sheer vanity and daily routine but it's individual.
They reach for their refill of Bronze Goddess bronzer and sparkly lip gloss because it makes their own heart happy.
Rarely is a woman buying eyeliner because it's what her man wants or even because she feels the pressures of society to wear it.

In the hippie city that is Portlandia?
P-L-E-A-S-E.
It's cooler to NOT wear makeup.
It means you're too deep for such superficiality.
Of course, you could seriously stand to use some highlights and mascara, but that's besides the point.

In the diamond biz women are searching to satisfy some greater expectation that extends beyond the bounds of concealer and lipstick.
Something in them is convinced they will never be satisfied until they find the perfect ring, that, of course, is nothing like their sisters or best friends. And one that is fitting in direct reflection to the love of their man and the significance of their relationship.
They believe their importance to him is mirrored on their left hand.

The wedding itself carries the same weight of expectation and significance.
Even though it is really a glorified party.
But people shell out enough money on a few hours that could secure a home.
The pursuit for pure perfection is so great that when inevitably the flowers for the ceremony are wrong or the Maid of Honor is too hungover to walk down the aisle, the day is ruined.

It's an irrational set up for disappointment and yet women do it all the time.

One girl came in to the store with her boyfriend to look at rings.
They're planning a trip to the Bahamas at the end of the year and she made a comment when he's stepped away that she hoped he'd propose while they were there.
It's like setting herself up for the let down of the century!

Why do women do this?
Shouldn't the fact she is going on a trip to THE BAHAMAS be cause enough to celebrate and rejoice?
Why does she have to take something that is already fantastic and add more expectation on top of it?
It's as if there is a chronic dissatisfaction buried inside of every woman in regards to her relationship.
No matter how much is good or even great there is always more she wants.

He said, 'I love you' but he didn't say 'You look Beautiful.'
He made reservations for dinner but it wasn't at your favorite restaurant.
You had sex but it wasn't nearly exciting enough.
He bought you flowers but they weren't nearly as expensive as the ones your co worker received.
He bought you jewelry but it wasn't a ring.
Do you see what I'm getting at??

And the worst part is that we all encourage one another!
Where men run around trying to prove to other men that their penis is larger we women run around trying to prove our men and relationships are more flawless than anyone else's!
People covet a rare, flawless diamond and the price tag that comes with it, seeing it as a badge earned and deserved.

But shouldn't the loving commitment, the devotion of a man who stays by your side in spite of all those times you go bat shit crazy be far more important than any thing, any ceremony, any loving words that could ever be uttered?

Do I think women should settle for less than all they deserve?
Of course not.
We're fucking goddesses and should be treated as such.

But I wonder if instead of always wishin' and hopin' and dreamin' for the things that aren't, our energy was devoted to adorin' and appreaciatin' and delightin' in all that is today, we'd be happier with happier men and less debt. And less divorces.

I'm killing the Cinderella story right now.
Because you know what?
I'm not fucking Cinderella.
And I don't need Prince Charming to save me from a lonely life of hateful isolation.
I'm a happy, contented, fulfilled woman who happens to love the idea of sharing her fabulous life with the kind of handsome man who is captivated by her.

All the little romantic details?
They're like the countless tubes of lipgloss scattered in my purses.
Each fabulous in its own right, but without them my lips are still seductively delicious.

Some perfection needs little to perfect it.
Remember that.
It's sure to save heartaches and headaches.