Match dot I seriously paid money for this?

A co worker told me I should join match.com.

These couples are always coming in to our work, looking at engagement rings, with stories of how they met online.
"I really think you should give it a try," she encouraged me.
"I think it will really take your dates up a notch."

Then, another co worker joined the site without even knowing the conversation we'd been having.
I couldn't take the peer pressure.
It was like 7th grade homeroom all over again.

Actually.
I just don't feel ready at ALL to meet someone new.
(Did I mention I'm still totally in love with my ex boyfriend who I broke up with?)
So I thought now was the PERFECT time to join a dating website.
Or rather, PAY for a dating website.
The timing is wrong.
And that's always when they say you meet your dream boat.
So bring it.
Just try and charm the pants right off me.
(Oh, like I'd even be wearing pants on a date. Pssh)

I've been on Okstupid for years.
Mostly for entertainment.
Every woman should have an Okcupid profile if only to feel pretty on those days she's feeling undesirable.
There are always world of warcraft trolls writing you poetry about what a goddess you are.
"You're hot enough to melt something unmeltable."
How fucking sweet.
And as clever as you are handsome.

I also joined Match because I'm so afraid of being a doormat.
My ex told me he needs some time to figure things out and he doesn't know if we're over for good.
How very reassuring.
But he hasn't said I Love You in two months and I have no idea what the hell I'm waiting for.
Nothing is going to magically change if I hold my breath and spend every night with my girlfriends.
I am not the kind of woman to wait for any man.
Good things come to those who wait?
How about, he who hesitates, loses.
As in, me.
Minus one buxom redhead.

Do you have any idea how many idiots are drooling over the chance to get me drunk and french me?
And I realized something.
The only reason to put up with shit like this, the indecisive, wishy washy uncertainty of my ex, is if the sonofabitch is your husband.
And son, this fool ain't my husband.

So, with timing seeming terrible and my co workers ardent faith that the caliber of people on a site you're paying for therefore being so much higher.....
P.e to the r.t compounded continuously, if I invest this many dollars into this many months then I'll have......
a true blue dreamy mcprince charming!

Right....?

Except there seem to be just as many undesirables on this site and possibly even FEWER desirables.
I actually paid for this??

Let me fill you in on a little secret.
The only time that money actually buys beauty is when you're a chick in Sephora.
I hate online dating.
Hate it hate it hate.
Men are such flakes.

I have a hard enough time trying to find a man with a stronger temperament than me.
Behind a computer?
They are spineless Mcjellyfish.

But don't think I'm not gonna get my money's worth.
These suckers are my blog fodder waiting to happen.
If I can't find Prince Charming then I will find his idiotic cousins.
And be nothing, if not entertained.

Cheers.